And thus I have begun, it is my hope that this life may prove to be more favorable than the last. If nothing else, I have taken with me from my previous experiences, along with the faded memories and overexposed desires, the lesson that as long as I continue to search for THE answer, I will never truly understand the question. So here I begin, in search of no answers to life’s mystery, rather seeking to understand the question. The answer is easily uncovered once the correct question has been formed.
The most clear first memory, is also apparently the last of the time before…. It was a relatively normal day as far as weather goes, however the war had waged on and today’s battle seemed to be particularly bloody. The sporadic familiar sound of gun fire rang in my ears and the smell of gunpowder, blood and death lingered in the humid air. Through, what was once a door, I caught a glimpse of a soldier, perhaps half my age, clearly weary, yet somehow regal in his brilliant red uniform. I stared for a moment rather amazed at the scene out in the yard. Bodies fell like the autumn leaves from the great oak on the town square. Chaos, but a sense of order about it, almost musical but then random and out of time. My mind drifted to better times for only a brief moment, but ling enough to be exposed, his reaction was expected when seeing the enemy in your sights. I fell to the floor to load my weapon; I looked to take aim as did he. The shot, the sound, the smoke the smell, I saw him clearly, my weapon had discharged, smoke swirled into the air form the end of the barrel, but smoke came from his as well. I felt no wound, saw no blood, I breathed in, but could not, and I died at that moment…
The alarm clock pieced the silence of the darkness, 6:00 AM winter time so it was still dark outside, the light in the bathroom made me close my eyes to adjust, as I opened my eyes and looked at myself in the No just another dream. This morning like most in my coherent conscious life was uneventful, shower, fight the rush hour traffic on the way to the office, stop for a coffee, have a brief chat with the local merchants and then finally arriving at the office. Just one more thing to add to the general confusion of my day. I have been at this juncture in my life more times than I care to remember, but today seemed particularly odd…I died last night, I think I did, maybe not, it all seems a bit strange.
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